tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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