It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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