Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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