im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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