She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's never too late to be topless.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
