i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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