'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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