never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
