sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
