i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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