I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
