Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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