Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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