At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My feet surprised me
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
