But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
