At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
