We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
