I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
