No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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