Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
