i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
