Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
