The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he fucked my hip out of place.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
