All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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