On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize