Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize