yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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