so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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