In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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