right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
