YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
