my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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