i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she smelled like a LAN party
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Randomize
