suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
