Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize