"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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