he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
