Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
