Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
