why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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