so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
