Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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