So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
