the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
