After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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