how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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