I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize