dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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