what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
