I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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