the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
