Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
