2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you would pick up someone in the library
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
