I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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