It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
