Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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