wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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