I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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