her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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