you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
